So again, I am amazed at how silly I am thinking that my timing is so much better than what God has in store. We moved December 5th into our new house. Because we have the best landlord ever, we didn’t have to pay rent for December and we won’t have any housing expenses until February. God is so good! We are all moved in, we have all but 5 boxes unpacked, and hang pictures. So we are super excited to celebrate our Savior’s Birth in our new home with friends and family!
Archive for ◊ 2008 ◊
• Thursday, October 30th, 2008
So yesterday at our weekly study, my pastor made an extremely controversial statement. In Jeremiah 16:2, Pastor Mike made the point that this is the only place in the Bible where he ordered the Isrealites not to have children. He also pointed out that God ordered, “Do not get MARRIED and have children.” Through out the Bible God uses children as a blessing, beginning in Genesis where He tells Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply. He then blesses Noah and Abraham and their decedents by saying that their children will be as numerous as the stars.
Pastor Mike then went on to say that having sex and inhibiting the ability to produce children is not biblical and it is extremely selfish. Pastor Mike went on to explain that when you take the ultimate intended blessing out of sex, you make it about you. This then turns the act of sex a selfish act which could then spiral to pornography, sexual immorality, adultery, and even homosexuality.
I’m not sure how I feel about that statement or concept. However, it is consistent with God’s character with regards to lack of selfishness and fruit being produced when in His will and not our own. Does this mean we are all sinning when we take our birth control or use “protection”? Are we misusing His design for happiness and thus missing out on blessings? Just some food for thought…
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• Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
Yep, that’s right, we are buying a house!!! Last week we placed a bid on a house in Broadview Heights, and our offer was countered, and we accepted!!! On Thursday, October 23, tomorrow, we are doing the inspection. There are 3 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths. The house has 2.2 acres (85×1140) (check out the map the property ends where the peg is)and is mostly wooded. We have a ravine running through our property. The house has a new 2 1/2 detached garage, a shed, and came with a riding mower, woohoo! It is a cape cod style with brand new windows, hard wood floors in the family room and living room with a built in bookshelf ( both have wood burning stove/fireplace with stove insert). They just put in new windows and updated the kitchen to include new a built in bookshelf, countertops, cabinets, and plumbing. The carpet is brand new. There is an additional room in the basement with pergo flooring with two closets that could be used as an office or an additional bedroom. The house comes with all appliances, a chest freezer, and a dryer. We love that there are so many closets and so much storage. It has radiator heating and does not have central air. However, from talking to the neighbors, we won’t need it. We will need to purchase a washer. So, if you know of any super cheap, let us know!!! God is so good! Who would have thought!!! The best thing is that Chloe won’t have to change schools!!!
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• Friday, October 17th, 2008
In Memory of Adam Gaspar:
September 30th, 2008, my former boss and friend, Adam Gaspar passed away overnight in his home in Fairview, Ohio. He was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme grade IV brain tumor in November ‘07 and given a year to continue his work here on Earth. The lives this man has touched will never forget the genuine heart, earnest desire to do better and the laughter he created. From his witty quips and palm readings to his business ethics and advice to his 6′8″ frame, Adam was a man to look up to.
The one thing that has stuck to me to this day was when he told me a little secret.
“Always make an effort to say at least one thing positive the moment you wake up and one thing positive before you go to bed.”
At that point in my life and career, I had been struggling a lot. Adam took this as an opportunity to share the wealth of love and kindness he has with me.
A short few years later, with both a heavy heart and excitement for new opportunities I left GFI to man my own shop. I regret that I didn’t spend more time with Adam when he was among us, but the time we did share and the paths that we did cross have influenced me tremendously.
So, to the man who had it all, life, love, a beautiful family and many friends, Egészségedre!
You will be missed here dearly, but your memories and your heart will live on.
“Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.”
Matthew 5:7-8(NIV)
Please try to attend the fund raisers at the following link. GFI Consulting
Also, a few other noted links for you to read about Adam’s life and death.
The Adam Gaspar Foundation
A HUGE Heart
Marty Whitford’s Eulogy
Category: Paul's Blogs
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• Thursday, October 16th, 2008
Yesterday I went to our church’s Wednesday night Bible Study. Right now we are in Jeremiah, which to me is very fitting, especially with what is going on with our country right now. We went through chapters 12 and 13. In chapter 12, Jeremiah laments and is sorrowful about why things are happening the way they are. God reminds Jeremiah of how His people have turned their backs on Him.
In so many ways, isn’t that like how our country is behaving? As we have become more and more prosperous, we have turned ourselves into Gods. We think we can do everything on our own and only pull out God when it is convenient. We have become super humans that think we can will, rationalize and manipulate whatever we want to suit our desires. God is a last resort. God is our scape goat. If something goes wrong, the majority of Americans turn and then say, “where’s God in this?” or, “how can there be a God to allow this to happen?” We fashion Him to be like some sort of whimsical genie where He is obligated to conform to our needs and desires. When we don’t get what we want or when we want it, regardless of how morally wrong or selfish it is, we rationalize that there can’t be a God at all. We forget that the whole purpose of our creation is to glorify Him. Granted, He has laid specific plans for all of us, but ultimately as in Jer 13:11 says, we were made to make Him look good, to bring Him praise and honor. He gives us what we need or desire, but it is in His time. Furthermore, He allows us these blessing to bring Him glory alone because of His love for us.
Even as a Christian, I too am convicted by this. My thoughts come first. If I do have quiet time, it fits in my schedule when I want it to or when its convenient to me. When I reflect on the relationships I have in my life, my husband, good friends, family, etc. I know that in order to have a real intimate relationship, there has to be open lines of communication throughout the day. Paul and I email back and forth at least 10 times a day. When we don’t we feel disconnected. The same thing with God. We need to break away and thank Him for what He has done, glorify Him, reflect on Him, so that we have that relationship. He wants to hear when I’m hurting, when I’m frustrated, but most of all, He wants to hear about how much I adore Him.
The last verse of Jeremiah 13 really convicted me:
“I have seen your detestable acts
on the hills and in the fields.
Woe to you, O Jerusalem!
How long will you be unclean?”
This really made me think, how long will I harbor my own selfish sin… Each one of us has a sin that we can not shake. I harbor the sins of judgement, criticism, and anger. Fill in the blank for whatever your sin is. He calls to us and says not only to America, but to us as individuals, how long will you harbor these sins? When will you get them out of the way and put me first? When will you stop idolizing yourselves, your positions, your money, your whatever and really turn to me? When will we as a country and more importantly as individuals get this? Will it take us going into captivity, like Isreal, or loosing His hand upon us? Unfortunately, I’m thinking that its going to take that. Prayerfully, I’m going to work on changing me and my family first by praying that we humble ourselves and pray and seek His face and turn from our wicked ways then will He hear in heaven and heal our sin and restore our land. (2Chron 7:14)
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• Monday, October 06th, 2008
Tina, Thomas (a great couple we met at EE), Paul, and I
This weekend Paul and I went to an amazing Marriage Conference called Engaged Encounter that was recommended by my good friend, Katie. It was one of the best conferences I have ever been to. Prior to the wedding, both of us were unbelievably stressed which led to some very heated discussions. I had gotten extremely discouraged and that’s when Katie suggested this retreat. She and her husband had gone to Marriage Encounter and had nothing short of revelationary things to say about the experience.
During the weekend, we had 3 presenting couples, one of which was a member of clergy, who presented us with a discussion topic and explained their related life experiences. After they elaborated on the topic, they asked the couples to separate, journal in response to realated topics then reunite with our significant other to swap journals. The purpose for the journaling is that for most people, it is easier to write your feelings. Also, so that you could come back to it and savor what your loved one wrote to you.
The topics of discussion were extremely challenging and thought provoking. Although Paul and I had attended marriage classes prior to exchanging vows, many of the issues Engaged Encounter addressed had not been discussed. The really tough questions drew us closer by exposing our vulnerability and sharing the intimacy.
I’m really excited to see how these skills will be utilized to conquer future difficult situations. We have a lot going on in our lives with Paul’s school, searching for a new house, being involved with church, bible studies, and just life in general! I really feel equipped for our years to come. In a few years, once we have had more life experience as a couple, we will definitely be attending Marriage Encounter!
One of the other great things was that we were able to encourage another couple in the pursuit of purity. Tina and Thomas have a great story of how they have met and how they are seeking God’s will. We were so elated to see how obedient they were to God’s in their lives. Tina’s patience and desire to adhere to His timing was such a blessing to witness. I pray that because of their hope and faith in Him, that God continues to bless their relationship.
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• Sunday, September 28th, 2008
So I have been in this study called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero. The book challenges us to become part of God’s family. By doing this we are to sever the ties of our own earthly family that are not Christ like to include but not limit insecuries, codependencies, and abusive natures. The vices we cling to when we feel either boxed in with our problems, or going so well that we feel completely independant and not needing a personal savior and put our Jesus back on the shelf.
I can’t get over how hard it is to keep from the programmed, generational feelings that my family has passed down from one another. The anger, the jealousy, and the disconnection that we all feel towards one another. My family feeds of this and I am so tired of it. I hate that I am angry for no reason. That my family feels that we are so disposable. That everyone’s feelings are discounted and no thinks about the effects their actions are going to have on other family members.
I hate how I get so angry and bitter at people, and for dumb reasons at that. I hate how I am so ready to cut people out of my life. I hate how mean and rude I can be. I hate that it is taking me so long to change these aspects of my life. I hate that Satan has such a hold over me and my family. When I think about deliverance, I wish that God would deliver me out of this. It is so easy to pray that I “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor 10:5)However, why is so hard to do?
I completely understand when Paul laments about what he wants to do but does not do because of fleshly desires. How easy it is to fall back into an ingrained sinful nature. I pray the reprogramming of Christ’s grace love and fullness with abound and spring forth to the depths of my soul before I die. I pray that my grafting into his family tree will be complete. I pray that Jesus will prune me so that I will loose these fruitless branches of insecurity, control, anger, jealousy, pride, and resentment. That our family tree will completely change so that Christ’s legacy will be passed on and not my family’s.
I pray that as I continue in the roles of wife to Paul and mother to Chloe that He enables me to be the Proverbs 31 woman. I pray that I am able to be reminded and honor daily the vows I took in front of God, our families and friends. That He would humble me to take myself out of the picture and teach me how to be more like Him. I know I am so unworthy of His grace and mercy but I have hope He will change me to be more like him in order to honor my vows.
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• Monday, September 22nd, 2008
The fear of leaving the church and possibly giving up on what I have felt called to do, establishing a single parent’s ministry within my church, plagued me. Thoughts of me, personally, failing God held me captive by thinking that God could only work through me within that church. It was almost inconceivable for me to be called out of our church and out of my comfort zone. (now that I reflect on that, all I can say is “DUH!”) I was allowing the enemy to fill my thoughts with blame and self doubt. I had the audacity to think the reason for the lack of interest was something I had done, in turn questioning what God had clearly told what my purpose was. I doubted Him. I doubted His plan. I’m not saying that by leaving the church, He will honor my plans, I’m saying by going in faith, I am honoring His plans.
Another fear of mine was Chloe’s beliefs. I was afraid that Chloe would not feel encouraged or have the fellowship of her community. I feared that she would loose interest in God because I took her out of her comfort zone. I didn’t have faith that God would meet her where she needed Him. I felt that because of me, His plans for her would be shattered. (Don’t I sound omnipotent!)
Man did I have a surprise coming! On Wednesday night, Chloe and I went to the Calvary Chapel in Cleveland with some friends for their weekly study. Needless to say, I felt at home, or the closest I have felt in a long time. Granted it didn’t have 80 degree weather, palm trees and the pastor wasn’t in a Hawaiian shirt, but he stuck to Calvary tradition; preaching line by line out of the Bible, and, best of all, was in the Old Testament! My hunger was finally being satiated!
When Chloe came out of her study, she told me that she couldn’t wait to come back next Wednesday. They were in the middle of studying 2 Chronicles in an expository manner as well! I was so elated that Chloe was comfortable and excited to learn the Bible as is and without the fluff.
On Sunday, I brought Paul, and I’m not quite sure that he is as excited as the two of us are, but I think he enjoyed it none the less. Chloe’s experience was just as great as the first one. This time, however, she took notes of verses that really impacted her, which has never happened!
The pastor said something that has really brought all of this full circle to me. It really opened my eyes to what God was trying to teach me. We were in Luke 3:16 where Luke is talking about Christ baptizing of the Spirit and of fire. The pastor said that the Spirit is a inner baptism and that He enters you for life, but that the fire is a purifying baptism. For most of us it takes many years to be purified. Like John the Baptist, our commission usually happens when we are in the wilderness and, it is at that time, when we feel our lowest, our weakest, and like God can’t use us because of all we have been through. Even though we have been baptized and saved through grace, we feel that we aren’t good enough to be used for His glory. That’s the time when He calls us out to go!
I very much feel that the first 7 years of my salvation were exactly that. A time of preparation, refining, and brokenness to not only prepare me for marriage, but also to help me relate to single mothers. I now know the struggles, hardships, temptations, and despair in order to encourage others. Thank you Jesus, Father, and Spirit for giving me the ears to hear and the affirmation that You do have a plan for me. For giving me this revelation of not giving You control of the situation and for reminding me that I need to ALWAYS have faith in You. For reminding us, that when we loose our paths, you are there for us when we have true repentance and that nothing can take me out of your hands!
“For your thoughts are not my thoughts neither are your ways my ways. As high as the heaven is from the earth so are your thoughts higher than my thoughts and your ways higher than my ways.” Isa 55:8-9.
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• Saturday, September 13th, 2008
So this summer has come to a screeching halt after the wedding. So many changes, but so much goodness! Upon returning back to work, I finished my training and started a new position within NatCity Investments (I received a promotion!). It is very challenging, but I love it! I am learning so much about the market! Chloe has entered the 5th grade and is now being team taught. She has 3 different teachers. She seems to be doing well and enjoying her classes. Paul also started school. He is taking 3 classes 2 nights a week. He is currently enrolled in Japanese, English, and Algebra. He goes to school on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30pm until 10pm. He is also continuing to meet with his men’s study biweekly and will be joining my study on the off weeks. I am currently doing a study on Pete Scazzero’s book Emotionally Healty Spirituality. This makes for a very long week!
We are working on getting this site going so that our friends and family will be able to keep abreast of what is going on. Please keep checking in!
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