Tag-Archive for ◊ Revelations ◊

Author: kcarpenter
• Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

funnyI think this is my life theme. God continues to throw this motif at me every possible chance He gets, and boy do I need it!  I heard it in my readings in Proverbs, at my personal training workshop, and even at work.  I think I get it.  The problem is applying it!

So, as you can imagine, the reason for my lack of posting is my busyness.  I have been going nonstop for months.  Pretty much since April.  Let me do a quick recap.  We went on vacation over Easter Break, where I was challenged to keep my mouth shut and pray about something, and I didn’t, so I swallowed my foot, not just sticking it my mouth mind you…  Luckily, I have gracious friends. So on vacation we went to California where we got to eat fabulous pie in Julian, went to Adventure City in Anaheim, visited a different but great Calvary Chapel in Temecula, went wine tasting (Chloe didn’t do that), visited some great friends (Elinor and the Spencer’s), went to the beach, revisited Camp Pendleton, ate some great food, and played with awesome kids!  It was a much needed break!

May was also another busy month, Paul learned that he had to take another pay cut.  He was blessed to go on a great Men’s retreat in the beginning of the month.  He had the opportunity to fellowship and meet a lot of great men.  God really moved in his heart, he said.  I learned yet another valuable lesson because I made some more mistakes that again hindered the growth of another relationship with my lack of discernment and my thoughts, not so much my mouth this time.  However, I also went on a women’s retreat, and was forced to slow down, which lead me to the words of wisdom to rectify the situation.  If only I would have turned to Him first and really looked at all angles of the situation, I would have seen the error in my ways to begin with, what a novel idea, right?!  I was blessed with gaining new sisters in Christ that prayed over me and now have a better sense of community with our congregation.

June, what a month this has been! First off, my mouth got me in trouble for the third time.  Again, thanks to graceful friends, I was forgiven.  (I then studied Proverbs and got all kinds of insight and wisdom about holding the tongue.)  Paul found out that he also had to take a week of unpaid vacation in July.  His company did, however, pay for his tuition reimbursement for the summer months, so that was a huge blessing.  The next day, we lost Paul’s grandfather, which has brought a multitude of feelings out for all of us.  I did not deal with it well at all.  Good fruit has not poured out from my tipped cup.  Satan has had huge victories in my life.  I think this really was the final straw to the realization that I need to do something about my lack of spiritual discipline.  I have harbored so much anger, rage, unforgiveness, judgement, bitterness, pride, and lets not forget self righteousness in the past couple of months. If I would have evangelized to an unbeliever  about Christ, they would have nothing to do with being part of our family in Christ.  

This past weekend was BIG for me… I mean really BIG.  I went to an NASM personal training workshop in Arlington, VA.  God brought people into my life who taught me how to train effectively for life goals,and little did they know they were teaching me a spiritual lesson of endurance as well.  In NASM they stress that Core Stability and maintaining postural alignment in all you do is absolutely paramount.  If you can’t stick to the basics, you have no right to advance.  You have to do it slowly.  If you move to quick, and compromise that one foundation, not only will you not train effectively, but you are setting yourself up to get hurt and regress.  Sound familiar, check out Hebrews 12.  If we forget the spiritual disciplines,which are the fundamentals of Christianity, we will not receive the prize of faith!  Good stuff, huh?!?  

Just like the body, one compensation from the truth, causes major catastrophe to the whole body.  (I am amazed at how they corralate, God is such an awesome creator!) So, in personal training, we need to take an initial assessment of where we are at, find out what our goals are (not just the ultimate ones, but small ones too), put a plan together of how we are going to achieve them, and make a realistic time line of what fruit we would like to see. Then, we have to start at the fundamentals, working on our core, the basic disciplines, then we can add other things into our routine.  However, if our core isn’t strong, we have to step back, reasses, stretch out the impedences and over compensations that are hindering us from functioning properly as God made us to work.  

I have made some huge assessments these last few days.  I have decided my goals are to exercise the gifts of encouragement and intercession that God has given me a passion for.  I will achieve these goals by setting a very strict schedule and diet (spiritually, mentally, and nutritionally). I have been in a Monthly Challenge with some women in church, and I think I am going to kick it up a notch.  My realistic goal is to study the Word for at least an hour 5 days out of the week, pray 30 mins 5 days every week, do resistance training 3 days a week, at least 45 minutes of cardio 5 days out of the week, eat the required amounts of calories 6 days a week, and log it.  In 4 weeks I will be reassessing my plan and goals to make sure my core foundations are aligned properly!  (Does the turtle have his good core stability to carry his load?) HA!    

 

Author: kcarpenter
• Tuesday, March 03rd, 2009
Downtown Skyways

Downtown Skyways

I started my new job on February 2nd and on the 3rd, was off to Minneapolis, RBC’s US headquarters, to  learn how “Complexing” works, daily tasks, my role in this new system, and the computer programs that will be implemented once the integration is complete (March 16th).  Minneapolis was awesome!  They have these skyways, because it is so cold in the winter (the highest it got was -4 while we were there),  that connect all the buildings on the second floor.  The developers were brilliant because in order to get to them you had to enter a department store!  Because the integration will not take place until the 16th, I have been required to do absolutely nothing.  Occassionaly, I am tasked with random copy making, or filing.  For the most part, its been time to read a few books that I have really wanted to sink my teeth in and reread some old favorites.  Not bad, eh?

My old neighbor, growing up, and I found each other on Facebook, which has been a huge blessing for both of us.  I have found out that she believes, but isn’t quite walking.  I have been able to witness bits and pieces of my testimony to her for encouragement.  I’m praying for her to accept the freedom God’s truth has to offer and free herself from the bondage of sin and the lies the world conveys.

Paul and I started going to a biweekly coed study on Friday’s while Chloe attends her girls study.  The couple that leads it, has a very similar situation to ours.  The wife was a single mom and they got married when her son was 10.  He is now 16 and she gave up her career to homeschool him.  I’m really excited about this friendship that God is going to cultivate.

We found out that Broadview Heights is negotiating with Cutter Oil to establish 5 more oil wells.  We are praying that they choose our property for one of the locations (3 of them are on our street).  This will mean we will have a lifetime of free gas for our house and earn 1.5% of whatever they pump out of the well, plus they will pay us to just dig in our yard!  If they do decide to drill on our land, I will be able to stay home and homeschool Chloe!  I would also get re-certified to Personal Train and hopefully convert our garage or something into a private studio!

I have had the opportunity to read some great books at work (I know, what a horrible life I have!).  One of the really great books was Never Surrender by Lt General Jerry Boykin.  It was really eye opening at how gullible Americans are to accepting what the media has to say.  It was also amazing at how easy it is to ruin someone’s reputation and the lack of regulations on media, which really disgusted me.  I reread, for the third time, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero.  I have decided to read this book once a year to take personal inventory of myself and use it as a gauge for my state of the heart.  It truly is an amazing tool to have in your back pocket with regards to building and maintaining healthy relationships, especially with God.  I am also reading Corrie Ten Boom’s three biographies that have been compiled to one entitled Her Story. I am so enlightened and encouraged to see the work of God truly displayed in the Ten Boom’s lives.  Definitely huge rolemodels!

God has also really impressed upon me through this time the value of building relationships and how important it is to continue to make deposits into them.  I have looked at Jesus and how He witnessed to others.  The one’s who really took His messages to heart were the ones He spent one on one time with and truly took the time to know them.  I realized how important it is for me to develop relationships where others see Christ through me instead of me just harping about it, even to people I don’t necessarily like.  I need to love like Jesus and be reminded that we are all His children.  So, that has been my mission, to be less judgemental and just love.  Why is that so hard?

I’m really excited to see how my new job will look like when all this integration business is over.  Change is good!

Author: kcarpenter
• Thursday, January 01st, 2009

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

This is the verse of the day for January 1, 2009.  How appropriate.  New Year, new beginnings, new resolutions…  All great things.  Resolutions are, in my opinion, a time to change things one dislikes about one’s life in an attempt to improve it.  This year, like every year, I want to resolve to become more like Christ and less like me.

This verse reminds me of who I am now and not who I was 8 years ago, let alone yesterday.  It is very easy for Satan to tempt us with continual remorse or guilt of what we once were.  As I sit here tonight, or this morning, and reflect about my past, I can see that it isn’t hard for me to question who I am in Christ.  I pray that as I grow in my walk that those lies would have less of stronghold on me.  I pray that my ghosts of my past would only be tools and not continual echos that torment my mind.

I have an amazing life and have been blessed with so much love, family, fellowship, and grace!

Lord,

Please let this be the year that I am freed of the one thing that I could not let go of.  You know what I harbor in my heart.  Let me please accept the blessings you have abundantly bestowed on me and give me the strength to take my thoughts captive.  Lord, let me have peace in your will and your forgiveness alone and not allow destructive thoughts in my mind.

In your Precious and Holy Name,

AMEN!

Author: kcarpenter
• Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Yesterday I went to our church’s Wednesday night Bible Study.  Right now we are in Jeremiah, which to me is very fitting, especially with what is going on with our country right now.  We went through chapters 12 and 13.  In chapter 12, Jeremiah laments and is sorrowful about why things are happening the way they are.  God reminds Jeremiah of how His people have turned their backs on Him.

In so many ways, isn’t that like how our country is behaving?  As we have become more and more prosperous, we have turned ourselves into Gods.  We think we can do everything on our own and only pull out God when it is convenient.  We have become super humans that think we can will, rationalize and manipulate whatever we want to suit our desires.  God is a last resort.  God is our scape goat.  If something goes wrong, the majority of Americans turn and then say, “where’s God in this?” or, “how can there be a God to allow this to happen?” We fashion Him to be like some sort of whimsical genie where He is obligated to conform to our needs and desires.  When we don’t get what we want or when we want it, regardless of how morally wrong or selfish it is, we rationalize that there can’t be a God at all.  We forget that the whole purpose of our creation is to glorify Him.  Granted, He has laid specific plans for all of us, but ultimately as in Jer 13:11 says, we were made to make Him look good, to bring Him praise and honor.  He gives us what we need or desire, but it is in His time.  Furthermore, He allows us these blessing to bring Him glory alone because of His love for us.

Even as a Christian, I too am convicted by this.  My thoughts come first.  If I do have quiet time, it fits in my schedule when I want it to or when its convenient to me.  When I reflect on the relationships I have in my life, my husband, good friends, family, etc.  I know that in order to have a real intimate relationship, there has to be open lines of communication throughout the day.  Paul and I email back and forth at least 10 times a day.  When we don’t we feel disconnected.  The same thing with God.  We need to break away and thank Him for what He has done, glorify Him, reflect on Him, so that we have that relationship.  He wants to hear when I’m hurting, when I’m frustrated, but most of all, He wants to hear about how much I adore Him.

The last verse of Jeremiah 13 really convicted me:

I have seen your detestable acts
on the hills and in the fields.
Woe to you, O Jerusalem!
How long will you be unclean?”

This really made me think, how long will I harbor my own selfish sin…  Each one of us has a sin that we can not shake.  I harbor the sins of judgement, criticism, and anger.  Fill in the blank for whatever your sin is.  He calls to us and says not only to America, but to us as individuals, how long will you harbor these sins?  When will you get them out of the way and put me first?  When will you stop idolizing yourselves, your positions, your money, your whatever and really turn to me?  When will we as a country and more importantly as individuals get this?  Will it take us going into captivity, like Isreal, or loosing His hand upon us?  Unfortunately, I’m thinking that its going to take that.  Prayerfully, I’m going to work on changing me and my family first by praying that we humble ourselves and pray and seek His face and turn from our wicked ways then will He hear in heaven and heal our sin and restore our land. (2Chron 7:14)

Author: kcarpenter
• Monday, October 06th, 2008
Tina, Thomas (a great couple we met at EE), Paul, and I

Tina, Thomas (a great couple we met at EE), Paul, and I

This weekend Paul and I went to an amazing Marriage Conference called Engaged Encounter that was recommended by my good friend, Katie.  It was one of the best conferences I have ever been to.  Prior to the wedding, both of us were unbelievably stressed which led to some very heated discussions.  I had gotten extremely discouraged and that’s when Katie suggested this retreat.  She and her husband had gone to Marriage Encounter and had nothing short of revelationary things to say about the experience.

During the weekend, we had 3 presenting couples, one of which was a member of clergy, who presented us with a discussion topic and explained their related life experiences.  After they elaborated on the topic, they asked the couples to separate, journal in response to realated topics then reunite with our significant other to swap journals.  The purpose for the journaling is that for most people, it is easier to write your feelings.  Also, so that you could come back to it and savor what your loved one wrote to you.

The topics of discussion were extremely challenging and thought provoking.  Although Paul and I had attended marriage classes prior to exchanging vows, many of the issues Engaged Encounter addressed had not been discussed.  The really tough questions drew us closer by exposing our vulnerability and sharing the intimacy.

I’m really excited to see how these skills will be utilized to conquer future difficult situations.  We have a lot going on in our lives with Paul’s school, searching for a new house, being involved with church, bible studies, and just life in general!  I really feel equipped for our years to come.  In a few years, once we have had more life experience as a couple, we will definitely be attending Marriage Encounter!

One of the other great things was that we were able to encourage another couple in the pursuit of purity.  Tina and Thomas have a great story of how they have met and how they are seeking God’s will.  We were so elated to see how obedient they were to God’s in their lives.  Tina’s patience and desire to adhere to His timing was such a blessing to witness.  I pray that because of their hope and faith in Him, that God continues to bless their relationship.

Author: kcarpenter
• Sunday, September 28th, 2008

So I have been in this study called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero.  The book challenges us to become part of God’s family.  By doing this we are to sever the ties of our own earthly family that are not Christ like to include but not limit insecuries, codependencies, and abusive natures.  The vices we cling to when we feel either boxed in with our problems, or going so well that we feel completely independant and not needing a personal savior and put our Jesus back on the shelf.

I can’t get over how hard it is to keep from the programmed, generational feelings that my family has passed down from one another.  The anger, the jealousy, and the disconnection that we all feel towards one another.  My family feeds of this and I am so tired of it.  I hate that I am angry for no reason.  That my family feels that we are so disposable.  That everyone’s feelings are discounted and no thinks about the effects their actions are going to have on other family members.

I hate how I get so angry and bitter at people, and for dumb reasons at that.  I hate how I am so ready to cut people out of my life.  I hate how mean and rude I can be.  I hate that it is taking me so long to change these aspects of my life.  I hate that Satan has such a hold over me and my family.  When I think about deliverance, I wish that God would deliver me out of this.  It is so easy to pray that I “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor 10:5)However, why is so hard to do?

I completely understand when Paul laments about what he wants to do but does not do because of fleshly desires.  How easy it is to fall back into an ingrained sinful nature.  I pray the reprogramming of Christ’s grace love and fullness with abound and spring forth to the depths of my soul before I die.  I pray that my  grafting into his family tree will be complete.  I pray that Jesus will prune me so that I will loose these fruitless branches of insecurity, control, anger, jealousy, pride, and resentment.  That our family tree will completely change so that Christ’s legacy will be passed on and not my family’s.

I pray that as I continue in the roles of wife to Paul and mother to Chloe that He enables me to be the Proverbs 31 woman.  I pray that I am able to be reminded and honor daily the vows I took in front of God, our families and friends.  That He would humble me to take myself out of the picture and teach me how to be more like Him. I know I am so unworthy of His grace and mercy but I have hope He will change me to be more like him in order to honor my vows.

Category: Kelly's Blogs  | Tags:  | Leave a Comment
Author: kcarpenter
• Monday, September 22nd, 2008

The fear of leaving the church and possibly giving up on what I have felt called to do, establishing a single parent’s ministry within my church, plagued me.  Thoughts of me, personally, failing God held me captive by thinking that God could only work through me within that church.  It was almost inconceivable for me to be called out of our church and out of my comfort zone.  (now that I reflect on that, all I can say is “DUH!”)  I was allowing the enemy to fill my thoughts with blame and self doubt. I had the audacity to think the reason for the lack of interest was something I had done, in turn questioning what God had clearly told what my purpose was.   I doubted Him.  I doubted His plan.  I’m not saying that by leaving the church, He will honor my plans, I’m saying by going in faith, I am honoring His plans.

Another fear of mine was Chloe’s beliefs. I was afraid that Chloe would not feel encouraged or have the fellowship of her community. I feared that she would loose interest in God because I took her out of her comfort zone. I didn’t have faith that God would meet her where she needed Him. I felt that because of me, His plans for her would be shattered.  (Don’t I sound omnipotent!)

Man did I have a surprise coming!  On Wednesday night, Chloe and I went to the Calvary Chapel in Cleveland with some friends for their weekly study. Needless to say, I felt at home, or the closest I have felt in a long time. Granted it didn’t have 80 degree weather, palm trees and the pastor wasn’t in a Hawaiian shirt, but he stuck to Calvary tradition; preaching line by line out of the Bible, and, best of all, was in the Old Testament! My hunger was finally being satiated!

When Chloe came out of her study, she told me that she couldn’t wait to come back next Wednesday. They were in the middle of studying 2 Chronicles in an expository manner as well! I was so elated that Chloe was comfortable and excited to learn the Bible as is and without the fluff.

On Sunday, I brought Paul, and I’m not quite sure that he is as excited as the two of us are, but I think he enjoyed it none the less. Chloe’s experience was just as great as the first one.  This time, however, she took notes of verses that really impacted her, which has never happened!

The pastor said something that has really brought all of this full circle to me. It really opened my eyes to what God was trying to teach me.   We were in Luke 3:16 where Luke is talking about Christ baptizing of the Spirit and of fire. The pastor said that the Spirit is a inner baptism and that He enters you for life, but that the fire is a purifying baptism. For most of us it takes many years to be purified. Like John the Baptist, our commission usually happens when we are in the wilderness and, it is at that time, when we feel our lowest, our weakest, and like God can’t use us because of all we have been through.  Even though we have been baptized and saved through grace, we feel that we aren’t good enough to be used for His glory. That’s the time when He calls us out to go!

I very much feel that the first 7 years of my salvation were exactly that. A time of preparation, refining, and brokenness to not only prepare me for marriage, but also to help me relate to single mothers. I now know the struggles, hardships, temptations, and despair in order to encourage others. Thank you Jesus, Father, and Spirit for giving me the ears to hear and the affirmation that You do have a plan for me. For giving me this revelation of not giving You control of the situation and for reminding me that I need to ALWAYS have faith in You. For reminding us, that when we loose our paths, you are there for us when we have true repentance and that nothing can take me out of your hands!

“For your thoughts are not my thoughts neither are your ways my ways. As high as the heaven is from the earth so are your thoughts higher than my thoughts and your ways higher than my ways.” Isa 55:8-9.

Category: Kelly's Blogs  | Tags:  | Leave a Comment