Tag-Archive for ◊ state of the heart ◊

Author: kcarpenter
• Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

funnyI think this is my life theme. God continues to throw this motif at me every possible chance He gets, and boy do I need it!  I heard it in my readings in Proverbs, at my personal training workshop, and even at work.  I think I get it.  The problem is applying it!

So, as you can imagine, the reason for my lack of posting is my busyness.  I have been going nonstop for months.  Pretty much since April.  Let me do a quick recap.  We went on vacation over Easter Break, where I was challenged to keep my mouth shut and pray about something, and I didn’t, so I swallowed my foot, not just sticking it my mouth mind you…  Luckily, I have gracious friends. So on vacation we went to California where we got to eat fabulous pie in Julian, went to Adventure City in Anaheim, visited a different but great Calvary Chapel in Temecula, went wine tasting (Chloe didn’t do that), visited some great friends (Elinor and the Spencer’s), went to the beach, revisited Camp Pendleton, ate some great food, and played with awesome kids!  It was a much needed break!

May was also another busy month, Paul learned that he had to take another pay cut.  He was blessed to go on a great Men’s retreat in the beginning of the month.  He had the opportunity to fellowship and meet a lot of great men.  God really moved in his heart, he said.  I learned yet another valuable lesson because I made some more mistakes that again hindered the growth of another relationship with my lack of discernment and my thoughts, not so much my mouth this time.  However, I also went on a women’s retreat, and was forced to slow down, which lead me to the words of wisdom to rectify the situation.  If only I would have turned to Him first and really looked at all angles of the situation, I would have seen the error in my ways to begin with, what a novel idea, right?!  I was blessed with gaining new sisters in Christ that prayed over me and now have a better sense of community with our congregation.

June, what a month this has been! First off, my mouth got me in trouble for the third time.  Again, thanks to graceful friends, I was forgiven.  (I then studied Proverbs and got all kinds of insight and wisdom about holding the tongue.)  Paul found out that he also had to take a week of unpaid vacation in July.  His company did, however, pay for his tuition reimbursement for the summer months, so that was a huge blessing.  The next day, we lost Paul’s grandfather, which has brought a multitude of feelings out for all of us.  I did not deal with it well at all.  Good fruit has not poured out from my tipped cup.  Satan has had huge victories in my life.  I think this really was the final straw to the realization that I need to do something about my lack of spiritual discipline.  I have harbored so much anger, rage, unforgiveness, judgement, bitterness, pride, and lets not forget self righteousness in the past couple of months. If I would have evangelized to an unbeliever  about Christ, they would have nothing to do with being part of our family in Christ.  

This past weekend was BIG for me… I mean really BIG.  I went to an NASM personal training workshop in Arlington, VA.  God brought people into my life who taught me how to train effectively for life goals,and little did they know they were teaching me a spiritual lesson of endurance as well.  In NASM they stress that Core Stability and maintaining postural alignment in all you do is absolutely paramount.  If you can’t stick to the basics, you have no right to advance.  You have to do it slowly.  If you move to quick, and compromise that one foundation, not only will you not train effectively, but you are setting yourself up to get hurt and regress.  Sound familiar, check out Hebrews 12.  If we forget the spiritual disciplines,which are the fundamentals of Christianity, we will not receive the prize of faith!  Good stuff, huh?!?  

Just like the body, one compensation from the truth, causes major catastrophe to the whole body.  (I am amazed at how they corralate, God is such an awesome creator!) So, in personal training, we need to take an initial assessment of where we are at, find out what our goals are (not just the ultimate ones, but small ones too), put a plan together of how we are going to achieve them, and make a realistic time line of what fruit we would like to see. Then, we have to start at the fundamentals, working on our core, the basic disciplines, then we can add other things into our routine.  However, if our core isn’t strong, we have to step back, reasses, stretch out the impedences and over compensations that are hindering us from functioning properly as God made us to work.  

I have made some huge assessments these last few days.  I have decided my goals are to exercise the gifts of encouragement and intercession that God has given me a passion for.  I will achieve these goals by setting a very strict schedule and diet (spiritually, mentally, and nutritionally). I have been in a Monthly Challenge with some women in church, and I think I am going to kick it up a notch.  My realistic goal is to study the Word for at least an hour 5 days out of the week, pray 30 mins 5 days every week, do resistance training 3 days a week, at least 45 minutes of cardio 5 days out of the week, eat the required amounts of calories 6 days a week, and log it.  In 4 weeks I will be reassessing my plan and goals to make sure my core foundations are aligned properly!  (Does the turtle have his good core stability to carry his load?) HA!    

 

Author: kcarpenter
• Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Christmas 2008

Christmas 2008

 

Grandpa Lowe  will never know how much we loved him and how greatly we miss him.  He has touched our lives in so many ways and for that we are grateful.  He even continues to teach us now.  Thank you Lord for giving us a glimpse of you through him and using Robert Lowe for your glory, even to the very end.

We love our wonderful family so very much and want you to never forget that!  Rejoice that we have a heavenly Father that will never leave or forsake us!  He is our HOPE!     

Author: kcarpenter
• Saturday, May 09th, 2009

After much prayer and consideration.  I feel that I need to clarify and apologize for including irrelevant events and painting my ex husband in a bad light by misconstruing information.  He is a very loving father and a very caring person.  I included an instance in my testimony that I had no right to include and should have asked his permission before I wrote it.  I need to clarify that he is not, by any means an abusive person.  Due to immaturity and selfishness, I knew how to provoke him to the utmost pinnacle of anger and hurt, and the night that I wrote about was in fact, a product of one of the arguments.   Again, I do want to stress and reiterate that he is not an abusive person.  It was not a Christian fruit of the spirit on my part to write so negatively about him as it was not a detrimental part of my salvation, but was in fact, speculation and my point of view.  I do pray that no wrong judgment would be made towards him for my folly.

I do want to say publicly that the whole purpose for the testimony was to admit that I am an absolutely sinful person and to show God’s mercy through changing me, not to point out or condemn anyone else.  I did not include all of my sins as I did not want to edify them, nor did I feel like I needed to list every sin.  I know and believe that God is merciful and He examines my heart and knows that my intent of my testimony was not malicious and that I do have a repentant heart for any misrepresentation that I might have made.  I do want to reiterate, however, that I have found amazing freedom through the grace of Christ Jesus and know that I am now whiter than snow.  I am guilty of some absolutely horrible things, and for that I am truly sorry for the hurts I have caused and the friendships I have lost.  I pray that one day I can restore hurt relationships and that they will truly be a light for God’s glory.

olsen-forgiven1

Author: kcarpenter
• Thursday, January 01st, 2009

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

This is the verse of the day for January 1, 2009.  How appropriate.  New Year, new beginnings, new resolutions…  All great things.  Resolutions are, in my opinion, a time to change things one dislikes about one’s life in an attempt to improve it.  This year, like every year, I want to resolve to become more like Christ and less like me.

This verse reminds me of who I am now and not who I was 8 years ago, let alone yesterday.  It is very easy for Satan to tempt us with continual remorse or guilt of what we once were.  As I sit here tonight, or this morning, and reflect about my past, I can see that it isn’t hard for me to question who I am in Christ.  I pray that as I grow in my walk that those lies would have less of stronghold on me.  I pray that my ghosts of my past would only be tools and not continual echos that torment my mind.

I have an amazing life and have been blessed with so much love, family, fellowship, and grace!

Lord,

Please let this be the year that I am freed of the one thing that I could not let go of.  You know what I harbor in my heart.  Let me please accept the blessings you have abundantly bestowed on me and give me the strength to take my thoughts captive.  Lord, let me have peace in your will and your forgiveness alone and not allow destructive thoughts in my mind.

In your Precious and Holy Name,

AMEN!

Author: kcarpenter
• Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Yesterday I went to our church’s Wednesday night Bible Study.  Right now we are in Jeremiah, which to me is very fitting, especially with what is going on with our country right now.  We went through chapters 12 and 13.  In chapter 12, Jeremiah laments and is sorrowful about why things are happening the way they are.  God reminds Jeremiah of how His people have turned their backs on Him.

In so many ways, isn’t that like how our country is behaving?  As we have become more and more prosperous, we have turned ourselves into Gods.  We think we can do everything on our own and only pull out God when it is convenient.  We have become super humans that think we can will, rationalize and manipulate whatever we want to suit our desires.  God is a last resort.  God is our scape goat.  If something goes wrong, the majority of Americans turn and then say, “where’s God in this?” or, “how can there be a God to allow this to happen?” We fashion Him to be like some sort of whimsical genie where He is obligated to conform to our needs and desires.  When we don’t get what we want or when we want it, regardless of how morally wrong or selfish it is, we rationalize that there can’t be a God at all.  We forget that the whole purpose of our creation is to glorify Him.  Granted, He has laid specific plans for all of us, but ultimately as in Jer 13:11 says, we were made to make Him look good, to bring Him praise and honor.  He gives us what we need or desire, but it is in His time.  Furthermore, He allows us these blessing to bring Him glory alone because of His love for us.

Even as a Christian, I too am convicted by this.  My thoughts come first.  If I do have quiet time, it fits in my schedule when I want it to or when its convenient to me.  When I reflect on the relationships I have in my life, my husband, good friends, family, etc.  I know that in order to have a real intimate relationship, there has to be open lines of communication throughout the day.  Paul and I email back and forth at least 10 times a day.  When we don’t we feel disconnected.  The same thing with God.  We need to break away and thank Him for what He has done, glorify Him, reflect on Him, so that we have that relationship.  He wants to hear when I’m hurting, when I’m frustrated, but most of all, He wants to hear about how much I adore Him.

The last verse of Jeremiah 13 really convicted me:

I have seen your detestable acts
on the hills and in the fields.
Woe to you, O Jerusalem!
How long will you be unclean?”

This really made me think, how long will I harbor my own selfish sin…  Each one of us has a sin that we can not shake.  I harbor the sins of judgement, criticism, and anger.  Fill in the blank for whatever your sin is.  He calls to us and says not only to America, but to us as individuals, how long will you harbor these sins?  When will you get them out of the way and put me first?  When will you stop idolizing yourselves, your positions, your money, your whatever and really turn to me?  When will we as a country and more importantly as individuals get this?  Will it take us going into captivity, like Isreal, or loosing His hand upon us?  Unfortunately, I’m thinking that its going to take that.  Prayerfully, I’m going to work on changing me and my family first by praying that we humble ourselves and pray and seek His face and turn from our wicked ways then will He hear in heaven and heal our sin and restore our land. (2Chron 7:14)